Your therapist and coach trained in systemic therapy with a masters in psychology - Registered Counsellor: Independent Practice / Private Practice

Couples counselling: Relationships & transformation

Your experience and adventures as well as your goals are my top priority

Balanced relationships in professional and private life

The quality of relations with our fellow human beings shapes our well-being, influences our personal development and shapes our way life path like hardly any other area in our life. We invest a lot of time, energy and dedication in both our professional and private environments in order to shape our relationships as good as possible.

Healthy stable relationships are like a safe haven – where we can let go of ourselves and recharge our batteries and where we can simultaneously experience support to go out into the world and have new experiences. Such relationships thrive on trust, an understanding of one another, and a desire to support one another.

But not everyone is experiencing such stability in their relationships right now. Unfulfilled expectations, misunderstandings, dissatisfaction and breaches of trust that can quickly lead to accusations, arguments and even a break-up of a relationship. Then toxic relationships can develop.

And of course, we always need a bit of luck to find exactly the people who are a good fit for us – but the quality of our relationships depends on many factors – on the one hand on healthy interactions with one another, on the other hand on our relationship with ourselves and our past.

How I want to support her and your relationship

Balanced relationships live on the one hand from dealing with each other, especially in difficult times. In individual therapy and counselling sessions for groups and couples, we will work together on the quality of your relationships. The following aspects characterize a healthy interaction with one another

Appreciation, exchange and interest in each other.
Communication and conversations, also about unpleasant and difficult topics.
Empathy and understanding for one another.
Dealing with conflicts and difficult situations.
Our ability to find solutions and compromise

In addition, we ourselves and our past have a great influence on the quality of our relationships, especially the following characteristics and experiences:

Our handling of our own emotions and our trust in ourselves.
Our ability to identify and communicate our own needs.
Our own expectations, our personal limitations, and our ability to seek relationships that do us good.
Our ability to feel and express caring and support for other people.
Our experiences with relationships, especially in our childhood, which can lead to both fear of commitment and fear of loss.
From formative experiences in our childhood and our lives, especially when we experienced insecurity, rejection, criticism, accusations or even traumatic experiences as children.

Relationship, marriage and partnerships

Romantic relationships are especially important for us humans – a partnership or marriage is a space for many emotions, intimacy and our way of life.

Conflicts are part of everyday relationships:

In romantic relationships we share esteem and affection, intimacy and sexuality as well as duties and responsibilities – and we must find a balance for all of our needs.
Conflicts can also arise due to stress in our environment – when we experience stress at work, in our everyday life or with other people, we often unload it exactly where we feel safe – in our partnerships.
Life crises, such as a serious illness, unemployment or the loss of loved ones also change and strain our romantic relationships.
Crises often arise from deep injuries and disappointments or a breach of trust – often jealousy, an affair, addictions – especially alcohol – or violence play a major role.

Couples cope with these challenges very differently. Some couples try to understand each other, exchange ideas and find a way to improve the situation together. But often conflicts set off a downward spiral that ends in reproaches, arguments, accusations and tensions that last weeks or even months – we fall into old patterns and see no way out.

Many couples then live apart – they have less and less understanding, experience less and less closeness, intimacy or trust. Such a situation is extremely difficult and burdensome for all partners, but partners react differently to these patterns – either they actively pursue a solution or they withdraw and become passive.

Tragically, in many relationships there is a partner who wants solutions and one who wants to withdraw – and this often creates an unhealthy dynamic.

The active partner talks more and more, seeks more contact and expects that the relationship or the partner will change.
The passive partner becomes increasingly quiet and wants to avoid confrontations. He avoids contact, which often has a repelling effect. He hopes that the relationship will calm down if the other partner just accepts it for what it is.
It is easy to imagine that the active partner feels provoked and rejected by the other’s withdrawal and exerts increasing pressure to improve the relationship.
And one can also well imagine that the passive partner feels attacked and is overwhelmed and becomes increasingly dismissive in order to mitigate the conflict.

When is therapy recommended?

I recommend couples therapy if you recognise yourself in any of the following descriptions:

You keep falling into the same behaviour patterns – and despite countless arguments, your real problems remain unresolved.
Even seemingly small things can set off a downward spiral – and it may take you days or weeks to recover.
They expect the other partner to change – and have the feeling that their relationship cannot be saved otherwise.
In moments when you want to be close to your partner, you are overcome by the fear of being rejected – and you approach each other less and less.
You no longer understand your partner at all – and you lack the confidence that you both mean well by each other.
They are rarely intimate with each other, either emotionally or sexually – and feel increasingly distant from each other.
There was a break in your relationship, such as a breach of trust – and you don’t know how to continue.
You want to separate – and look for a way to make separation as painless as possible – for you, your children or loved ones around them.

I would like to encourage you to make individual consultations if you find yourself in the following descriptions:

Your attempts at relationships always end in similar disappointments – and awaken old self-doubts.
You long for more affection and appreciation in the relationship – and do not manage to communicate your needs.
You see no future for the partnership and stay because you don’t want to hurt your partner – or you have decided to leave and do not yet know how to tell your partner.
They are insecure about their sexuality – and are attracted to other people or would like to try an open, polyamorous relationship.
You are very jealous – and would rather follow your partner’s every step or keep them at home.

Please seek immediate support – through emergency numbers, social workers or therapists if you experience the following:

You are afraid of physical, mental or sexual harm.
They suffer from their partner, are depressed or have thoughts of ending your life and cannot find a way out of this relationship.
They worry about their children when they are with their partner.

Take the first step

Book a free 15 Minuten introduction call to get to know each other

Relationship, marriage and partnerships

Romantic relationships are especially important for us humans – a partnership or marriage is a space for many emotions, intimacy and our way of life.

Conflicts are part of everyday relationships:

In romantic relationships we share appreciation and affection, intimacy and sexuality as well as duties and tasks – and for all our needs we need to find a balance.
Conflicts can also arise from stresses in our environment – if we experience stress in our work, in our everyday life or with other people, we often offload it exactly where we feel safe – in our partnerships.
Life crises, such as a serious illness, unemployment or the loss of loved ones, also change and strain our romantic relationships.
Crises often arise from deep injuries and disappointments or a breach of trust – often jealousy, an affair, addictions – especially alcohol – or violence play a major role.

Many couples then grow apart – they have less and less understanding for one another, experience less and less closeness, intimacy or trust. Such a situation is extremely difficult and stressful for all partners, but partners react differently to these patterns – either they actively pursue a solution or they withdraw and become passive.

Tragically, in many relationships there is one partner who wants solutions and one who wants to withdraw – and this often creates an unhealthy dynamic.

The active partner speaks more and more, seeks more contact and expects the relationship or partner to change.
The passive partner is getting quieter and wants to avoid confrontations. It avoids contact, which often seems repulsive. He hopes that the relationship will be quieter again if the other partner simply accepts it as it is.
One can well imagine that the active partner feels provoked and rejected by the withdrawal of the other and increasingly exerts pressure to improve the relationship.
And you can also imagine that the passive partner feels attacked and overwhelmed and becomes increasingly dismissive to mitigate the conflict.

When is therapy recommended?

I recommend couple therapy if you recognise yourself in one of the following descriptions:

You keep falling into the same behaviour patterns – and despite countless arguments, your real problems remain unresolved.
Even seemingly small things can set off a downward spiral – and it may take you days or weeks to recover.
You expect the other partner to change – and have the feeling that your relationship cannot be saved otherwise.
In moments when you want to be close to your partner, you are overcome by the fear of being rejected – and you approach each other less and less.
You no longer understand your partner at all – and you lack the confidence that you both mean well by each other.
You are rarely intimate with each other, either emotionally or sexually – and feel increasingly distant from each other.
There was a break in your relationship, such as a breach of trust – and you don't know how to move on.
You want to break up – and are looking for a way to make the breakup as painless as possible – for you, your children or loved ones around you.

I would like to encourage you to make individual consultations if you find yourself in the following descriptions:

Their attempts to enter into relationships always end in similar disappointments – and awaken old self-doubt.
They long for more affection and appreciation in the relationship – and do not manage to communicate their needs.
You do not see a future for the partnership and stay because you do not want to hurt your partner – or you have decided to leave and do not yet know how to tell your partner.
They are uncertain about their sexuality – and are attracted to other people or want to try an open, polyamorous relationship.
You are very jealous – and would prefer to follow your partner every step of the way or keep them at home.
Please seek immediate support – through emergency numbers, social workers or therapists if you experience the following:
- You are afraid of physical, mental or sexual harm.
- You suffer from your partner, are depressed or have thoughts of ending your life and cannot find a way out of this relationship.
- You worry about your children when they are with your partner.

Conflicts in the company

Problems in interpersonal relationships can also arise in our professional context – and often we have no way of distancing ourselves, but have to find ways of dealing and working with each other in the interest of our work.

If we want or have to work towards common goals, conflicting opinions and interests can quickly lead to conflicts.
The division of tasks, responsibilities and remuneration automatically creates conflicts of interest and a feeling of being treated unfairly.
We often find our colleagues, managers or the culture in a company to be a burden.

Interpersonal conflicts in a professional context are not only stressful, but also have far-reaching and negative consequences – they can affect work performance, hinder work processes and objectives.

The quality of the relationships is also one of the most common reasons for the failure of projects, dissatisfaction of customers or dismissals of employees – in order to prevent this, it is important to prevent conflicts.

However, recognizing, analysing and tackling conflicts is complex and is very difficult for many managers and those responsible:

Interpersonal conflicts at work are usually hidden and rarely obvious – often we only notice when it is already too late.
We have little time to improve the quality of relationships – often we are already busy with our everyday tasks.
Out of respect, we communicate indirectly in the professional context – and often it is not clear to us that employees need more appreciation and understanding.

Counselling sessions can help all those responsible to understand and improve interpersonal relationships at work.

And group counselling or mediation can help to deal with crises and conflicts to enable further cooperation.

This is how I help you to improve your relationships

In individual therapy as well as consultations for groups and couples, we will work together on the quality of your relationships:

Shaping and strengthening the relationship together – especially in an initial phase or when relationships are changing.

• Improve communication and enable an honest exchange – especially when unspoken expectations, disappointments or emotions weigh on you.

• Finding a way of dealing with conflicts and crises – especially so that they do not become entrenched.

• Identify and change unhealthy behaviour patterns – particularly negative downward spirals that burden everyone involved

• Develop a better understanding of ourselves and our emotions and how they affect or affect our relationships – particularly when past or childhood experiences are involved.

My offer/therapy approach

Couple therapy – As a therapist, I support you to address injuries and conflicts, to understand each other better and to find a common path. I also support couples in the process of separation.

Individual Therapy – As a therapist, I guide you to heal hurts and imprints from childhood and past relationships in order to open up to new love and enter into stable relationships. Therapy can also help to find a way of dealing with injuries, disappointments or even separations.

Mediation – As a mediator, I support them in the process of restoring their belonging to each other, improving the quality of the relationship or managing change as best as possible. I offer mediation both online and in person. It is important that all parties are interested and willing to engage in mediation.

Team building – I organize team building events and invite them to workshops and training sessions that I develop to suit their specific goals. I use targeted measures such as pedagogical exercises, psychological methods, games and entertaining activities as well as coaching.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS (FAQ)

What conflicts exist in companies?

A wide variety of conflicts exist in organizations, and all of them can negatively impact the climate, interactions, and team performance.

Conflicts of interest when different parties have different opinions and cannot find a compromise.
Personal conflicts, when people don’t get on well with each other and this interferes with working together.
Structural conflicts triggered by a change in organizational structure.

Conflicts due to unfair treatment by individual colleagues or superiors, e.g. through a narcissistic leadership style.

How to resolve conflicts between employees?

Mediation helps to address injuries and conflicts, to understand each other better and to develop ideas on how to improve the quality of the relationship. It is particularly suitable if the following factors apply:
All parties want to find a common way forward, but at the moment it is difficult to find access to each other and no longer know.
All parties want to exchange views, but at the moment communication leads to disputes or violations.
The relationship is in a phase of change and all parties want to make it as caring and respectful as possible.

What are typical relationship problems?

The partners have not managed to develop a healthy bond with each other, fear of loss or commitment characterizes the partnership and leads to conflicts.
In romantic relationships we share esteem and affection, intimacy and sexuality as well as duties and responsibilities – conflict arises when we feel our needs are being overlooked or when an imbalance arises and we feel we are not being treated fairly.
Conflicts can also arise due to stress in our environment – when we experience stress at work, in our everyday life or with other people, we often unload it exactly where we feel safe – in our partnerships.
Life crises, such as a serious illness, unemployment or the loss of loved ones also change and strain our romantic relationships.

Crises often arise from deep injuries and disappointments or a breach of trust – often jealousy, an affair, addictions – especially alcohol – or violence plays a major role

How do you solve problems in a relationship?

When problems in a relationship are only addressed superficially, they keep coming up and are difficult to deal with. Therefore, when dealing with relationship problems, it is crucial to understand where the problems are coming from, not just how they are presenting themselves in the moment. It’s also important to rebuild a sense of closeness, which is very important for fixing problems. Based on this, both partners can discuss what they would like to change in order to solve their problems and strengthen their relationship in the long term.

Is fighting in relationships normal?

Yes, arguments and conflicts are part of everyday relationship life. And often difficult situations say more about ourselves – our own conditioning, our behaviour and our past – than about the relationship. It can be worth working on ourselves and how we treat our partner to improve the quality of the relationship. And most couples successfully overcome challenges – they try to understand each other, exchange ideas and together find a way to improve the situation. Sometimes conflicts set off a downward spiral that ends in reproaches, arguments, accusations and tensions that last weeks or even months – we fall into old patterns and see no way out. In these cases, couples counselling can be helpful. It is also important to remember that romantic relationships are particularly important for us humans – a partnership or marriage is a space for many emotions, intimacy and our way of life – these should not be ended hastily or carelessly.

What to do with jealousy in a relationship?

Jealousy is a huge challenge to relationships and has the potential to destroy relationships. Jealousy is often a sign that a partner has a desire for more security in the relationship. Then it can be helpful to consider what options there are to strengthen the sense of belonging and security in the relationship. Strong jealousy often indicates deeper feelings and needs and then it can be very helpful to get to know yourself better, e.g. in a systemic consultation.

When is couples therapy useful?

I recommend couple therapy if you recognise yourself in one of the following descriptions:

You keep falling into the same behaviour patterns – and despite countless arguments, your real problems remain unresolved.
Even seemingly small things can set off a downward spiral – and it may take you days or weeks to recover.
They expect the other partner to change – and have the feeling that their relationship cannot be saved otherwise.
In moments when you want to be close to your partner, you are overcome by the fear of being rejected – and you approach each other less and less.
You no longer understand your partner at all – and you lack the confidence that you both mean well by each other.
They are rarely intimate with each other, either emotionally or sexually – and feel increasingly distant from each other.
There was a break in your relationship, such as a breach of trust – and you don’t know how to move on.

You want to break up – and are looking for a way to make the breakup as painless as possible – for you, your children or loved ones around them.